rough neighborhood

[flowerchild]

Well, we don't live in the ghetto by any means, but lately there has been a lot of robberies and even a murder all within a 1/2 mile radius of our house! Now, generally the news is only on when the kids are in bed, but they have overheard my conversations with other family members expressing my concerns. We rent, and our lease is up in Aug. but we are an unstable family (in that we move every year) and I know that alone is hard on kids... but how do I teach my kids that our backyard is the only place for them right now (with spring/summer on the way) and not let them fear going outdoors when I myself am not too thrilled with it anymore? I want to move now if we could, but my kids (7,4,2) have been thru so much, I don't know what to do?

[KIDPOWER]

First of all, you and your children deserve to feel safe and to be safe. We take risks in life every time we step into our cars, but we are still willing to go onto the road. The difference is that we know HOW to keep ourselves safe on the road much of the time, and people have much less training and support in how to be safe with other people. So people often feel overwhelmed about incidents of violence in a way that we don't feel overwhelmed about hearing about car accidents.

There are many things outside of our control and safety often needs to come from inside ourselves. You might be interested in this response to September 11:
http://www.kidpower.org/ARTICLES/safety-inside.html

The reality is that, in an unsafe neighborhood, a backyard or home is also unsafe because it is more isolated. A park with other people might be more safe. You could think about gathering with other moms to go together to different places or joining some community recreational programs. You might contact your police to get more information about what is going on - have the people doing these crimes been caught?

There can be times when any neighborhood can become unsafe, so it is possible that your best choice is to leave. Is there some place you can go during the summer in order to get away. Is breaking your lease and leaving early a possible better choice.

If adults are able to stay calm about it and to deal with children's unhappiness at change, moving often can be something that children adjust to. Children are amazingly resiliant. Although they often resist change at first, they take will their their cues about how they feel from their adults. If they are unset, instead of feeling bad, you can focus on the fun of an adventure about getting to live in new places, meet new people, and do new things. Making a little book about their move can also be helpful for young children in dealing with transitions and the sadness of saying good -bye to what they know.