Hoppy
03-31-2008, 09:14 AM
From www.screamfree.com
Quote of the Day: "Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth."
— Peter Ustinov, British actor (1921-2004)
http://www.screamfree.com/resources/partners/template/images/hal_runkel.jpg Hal's Take: There is a natural tendency for kids to "cut their teeth" with us by trying out emotions and pushing against us on seemingly small matters. We shouldn't be surprised when they try. In fact, we should be hoping that they do. Too often, I meet parents who tell me that they want to raise strong, confident adults yet they cannot stand for their child to say or do anything to oppose them. My question is this: How do you expect your 16 year old daughter to say no to a boy's unwanted advances when she hasn't been allowed to say no at home? How do you expect your son to refuse the egging on of his friends to take drugs when you've never even allowed for the possibility of him making a choice on his own up to this point? Watch the movie Ella Enchanted for a delightful look at how the "gift" of obedience can actually turn out to be a curse. Teach your child that he always has a choice. There are surely consequences, both good and bad, for each choice he makes, but giving him the choice to choose will go a long way in sharpening his teeth so that he can make his mark on the world.
Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting:
Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.
Quote of the Day: "Parents are the bones on which children sharpen their teeth."
— Peter Ustinov, British actor (1921-2004)
http://www.screamfree.com/resources/partners/template/images/hal_runkel.jpg Hal's Take: There is a natural tendency for kids to "cut their teeth" with us by trying out emotions and pushing against us on seemingly small matters. We shouldn't be surprised when they try. In fact, we should be hoping that they do. Too often, I meet parents who tell me that they want to raise strong, confident adults yet they cannot stand for their child to say or do anything to oppose them. My question is this: How do you expect your 16 year old daughter to say no to a boy's unwanted advances when she hasn't been allowed to say no at home? How do you expect your son to refuse the egging on of his friends to take drugs when you've never even allowed for the possibility of him making a choice on his own up to this point? Watch the movie Ella Enchanted for a delightful look at how the "gift" of obedience can actually turn out to be a curse. Teach your child that he always has a choice. There are surely consequences, both good and bad, for each choice he makes, but giving him the choice to choose will go a long way in sharpening his teeth so that he can make his mark on the world.
Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting:
Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.