Tip of the Day: April 21, 2008

[Hoppy]

From www.screamfree.com

Quote of the Day: "The greatest remedy for anger is delay. "
— Seneca, Roman philosopher, dramatist, and politician (5 B.C. - 65 A.D.)
http://www.screamfree.com/resources/partners/template/images/hal_runkel.jpg Hal's Take: We would all be in better shape if we could manage to remember the words of this wise philosopher. The next time you feel your blood beginning to boil, take a step away from the situation, breathe deeply, and wait just a minute before reacting. By simply creating the space between stimulus (when your kids push your buttons) and response (when you respond to them), you can find the creativity that lies within you. In this space, you can remember what it is that’s important to you. You can decide whether or not to take something personally. You can think of meaningful consequences and choices. You can respond through your principles and integrity rather than through your anger. So, do whatever it takes to stay calm in the heat of the moment and remember, the most important button on your emotional remote control is the one marked “pause”.
Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting:
Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.

[Hoppy]

This one hits it all the way out of the ballpark for me. I often think to myself after overreacting, "If I had only just walked away for a minute". I am trying harder everyday to hit that Pause button!

[Dream]

I hate when my pause button doesn't work.
I work very hard to just Breathe.
I started this years ago, I used to laugh at the concept. In my head I think Breathe. I inhale and imagine it fills all the way to my toes. Than I exhale pushing out all the bad.
It actually works and can be very helpful.

sidenote, this doesnt always work and then I look back feeling I wish I just took that breath.

[Busty Vixen]

:ita: I'm a very emotional responder. Which is good when I'm responding to positive actions. Or comforting someone.

But- when I'm riding the Emotional Tide in after a storm? :throwfit: Notsogood. DH learned a long time ago that I need to cool down before we talk things through. Otherwise, I am vicious and cruel and downright hateful with him.

With my kids- I feel like I CAN'T be that way, so I shut my emotions down completely. Which is the lesser of two evils I suppose, but far from ideal.

I've learned to say, "I'm very overwhelmed/frustrated/nervous-" whatever the emotion is- "right now and I need some quiet time so I can figure out how I feel." That way they know I'm being quiet because of ME. Not them.

My stepmother withheld affection when she was angry with us. That's really worse for a child's self-esteem than when my father would just yell at us. :(