Hoppy
05-08-2008, 09:00 AM
From www.screamfree.com
Quote of the Day: "It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation."
— John Gray, Children Are From Heaven
http://www.screamfree.com/resources/partners/template/images/hal_runkel.jpg Hal's Take: We don’t like to admit it, but we often go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation with our children. Sometimes we don’t like to disappoint them. Sometimes we don’t have confidence in our own authority. Sometimes, it’s just plain easier. But when you walk on eggshells with your child, you are treading on dangerous ground. Kids of all ages need to know that you are strong enough to withstand their tantrums or tirades. It makes them feel safe if they can’t blow you over or make you blow up. So, when your child bumps up against you or the consequences you’ve set for him, don’t tighten up and brace for the worse. Change your perspective and see it as a chance for growth – both for you and for him. For you, it’s a chance to flex your ScreamFree muscle and stay calm and connected in any situation. For him, it’s a chance to learn about trust and the law of sowing and reaping. After all, conflict is a part of life and you want to equip your child to handle it. By showing him how to approach it with quiet strength and understanding, you are giving a gift that is certain not to spoil.
Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting:
Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.
Quote of the Day: "It is not giving children more that spoils them; it is giving them more to avoid confrontation."
— John Gray, Children Are From Heaven
http://www.screamfree.com/resources/partners/template/images/hal_runkel.jpg Hal's Take: We don’t like to admit it, but we often go to extreme lengths to avoid confrontation with our children. Sometimes we don’t like to disappoint them. Sometimes we don’t have confidence in our own authority. Sometimes, it’s just plain easier. But when you walk on eggshells with your child, you are treading on dangerous ground. Kids of all ages need to know that you are strong enough to withstand their tantrums or tirades. It makes them feel safe if they can’t blow you over or make you blow up. So, when your child bumps up against you or the consequences you’ve set for him, don’t tighten up and brace for the worse. Change your perspective and see it as a chance for growth – both for you and for him. For you, it’s a chance to flex your ScreamFree muscle and stay calm and connected in any situation. For him, it’s a chance to learn about trust and the law of sowing and reaping. After all, conflict is a part of life and you want to equip your child to handle it. By showing him how to approach it with quiet strength and understanding, you are giving a gift that is certain not to spoil.
Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting:
Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.