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KIDPOWER
05-12-2008, 09:23 AM
Good Morning All,

A boundary is like a limit and, At KIDPOWER, we believe that clear boundaries, respectfully and firmly set, can help to build better relationships.

KIDPOWER's Underlying Principle is that the safety and well-being of each of us is worth causing ANYONE embarrassment, inconvenience or offense -- ourselves, our loves ones, people in a position of authority, anyone with whom we come into contact, and busy distracted people.

Here are four important important KIDPOWER Boundary Principles that can help us to make wise decisions for everyone's well-being in our daily lives and teach our children to do the same.

1. We each belong to ourselves. Our bodies, feelings, personal space, thoughts - all of us. This means that touch, teasing, or games for play or for affection should be the choice of each person, safe, and allowed by the adults in charge.

2. Some things are not a choice. Although our kinds of choices are different, this is as true for adults as it is for children. For children, many decisions related to health and safety are not their choice. They MUST go to bed. They MUST brush their teeth. They MUST NOT hurt themselves or each other.

3. Problems should not be secrets. A great deal of misery could be prevented if all of us remembered this rule. Keeping our own problems a secret leaves us trapped and in isolation.

4. Keep Telling Until You Get Help. For children, telling can mean their parents or other trusted adults who will do something to solve the problem. For adults, telling means finding resources to help you understand the problem, get emotional support, and figure out what to do.

Do these principles make sense to you? What makes following them confusing or hard?

Irene

Chocko
05-12-2008, 08:16 PM
I think often number 3 is a problem, because I know I don't like sharing problems with others and deal with my problems myself. I do however seem to be the person that my family will come to with problems. Even at times when I do come to someone close to me with a problem they look at me like I should have all the answers, because I usually do.

I think I do not show my vulnerable side enough and people think I have the ability to solve everything on my own, which is not always true.

MIZ
05-12-2008, 10:02 PM
#3 is a tough one. So many of us want to paste a smile on our face and act like everything is fine. Part of it is because you feel like no one wants to hear you complain. Another part is that sometimes problems = juicy gossip fodder.

KIDPOWER
05-13-2008, 09:24 AM
Would you want your children to paint on a happy face and be alone with their problems until they got into worse trouble or got an ulcer or got depressed?

Of course not! You need to model for your children good self-care and being open about problems for the purpose of getting help is a way to finding solutions and getting support.

Yes, talking about problems and asking for help IS hard, but you DESERVE to have as many perspectives and resources as possible in solving the problems in your life.

The key is to find people like yourself- who are safe people to ask for help from. So what kind of person makes you feel safe?