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Hoppy
05-15-2008, 08:04 AM
From www.screamfree.com

Quote of the Day: "Children are apt to live up to what you believe of them."
— Lady Bird Johnson, First Lady (1912 – 2007)
http://www.screamfree.com/resources/partners/template/images/hal_runkel.jpg Hal's Take: Children take your opinion of them as concrete truth. They will develop their self worth in large part from the things that you believe about them. That can be great news. It can also be dangerous because often what we think we believe about our children doesn’t match up with our actions towards them.
I think all of us would say that we believe our children are bright and capable. But how many of us hover over them when they do their chores or homework? When we do this, we are communicating that they can’t do the work well enough or we think they are devious enough to not finish the job. Or think about this when you find yourself getting easily frustrated and irritated by your children. What does this say to them about what you believe?
Now for the great news. If you can keep the first lady’s truth in mind and treat your children with a healthy balance of care and respect, they will grow up treating themselves and others that way as well. Then, in effect, you’ve made the world a more beautiful place, and that's something that would make Lady Bird very proud.

Hal Runkel, LMFT, author of ScreamFree Parenting:
Raising Your Kids by Keeping Your Cool.

Dream
05-15-2008, 09:48 AM
I often worry that it may be that one time that out of frustration I say something that they will always remember. I know there are tons of other times we have together,but kids take things to heart. I am just glad that The positive things I do and say far outweigh the times I act out of frustration.

AmandaJo
05-17-2008, 10:52 PM
I know what you mean dream. I always try to talk about their actions and not them personally. I just hope that they understand that. I always worry about making them feel bad about themselves.