KIDPOWER
07-10-2008, 09:19 AM
:happyflower:Good Morning,
I wanted to share an article with some ideas about how to practice with UofMom members. This is an excerpt from The KIDPOWER Book for Caring Adults. We will soon have free audio-podcasts on our website about using People Safety skills in daily life. For these and other educational resources, you might want to sign up for our free monthly e-newsletter at kidpower.org.
Hoping you are all having a safe, happy, healthy summer,
Irene
The Power of Positive Practice
At the heart of the KIDPOWER teaching method is our step-by-step approach to turning problems into positive practices. We do this for both adults and children. We have found that adults are far more able to help children rehearse solutions to potential problems, when as adults, we have learned how to create practices like this for ourselves.
There is a great deal of research that indicates that raising awareness of problems and worrying about them raises anxiety.However, having opportunities for successful practice of skills for
dealing with these problems helps people become more confident, less anxious, and more effective.
Practice can help people with many difficult situations such as:
- conducting a job interview.
- replying in a calm emotionally safe way to a cranky child, when you're tired yourself.
- changing a tire.
- what to do if there is an earthquake or snowstorm.
- learning how to do something new on the computer.
- setting a boundary with a someone who is not being respectful to you.
- being persistent in getting help from someone who is busy and overwhelmed.
- protecting yourself emotionally when someone is being mean.
- leaving a bad situation in a powerful way.
- using self defense skills to stop an attack.
However, HOW you practice is as important as the practice itself. Practicing doing something wrong can make you less effective. Practicing in ways that leave you feeling like a failure can be
destructive to your belief in yourself and can harm your self esteem.
You can set up safe positive practices for yourself and others by remembering a few things:
STAY CALM. No matter how difficult or upsetting the issue is, you and anyone you are trying to help will learn better if you are calm.
OVERCOME RESISTANCE. It is normal for people to avoid practicing how to handle a situation because thinking about it is upsetting, or because they are afraid they will look stupid or because they are busy. Usually avoiding practicing takes much more time than just doing it.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH. Learn about the best ways to handle situations from others through reading, watching videos, asking people who have experience, or taking workshops. Become clear about what you want the outcome to be and what you or others need to beable to do or to say to make it happen.
IF YOU ARE TEACHING SOMEONE ELSE, PRACTICE UNTIL YOU ARE COMPETENT YOURSELF. For
example, if you can't sound clear, respectful, and firm when you set a boundary, it is going to be hard to model this for someone else. One of the great benefits of teaching something to someone is that you are likely to become better at this skill yourself.
BE SPECIFIC. To create a role-play, be specific about who the parties involved are, where you are, what the problem is, and what the technique is. You can practice by yourself out loud in front of a
mirror or with other people. Adjust and adapt for differences in how you can best respond, including the different life situations of the people you might be wanting to communicate with or about.
USE YOUR IMAGINATION. For situations that are not possible to actually practice, you can prepare yourself by visualizing different problems and imagining step by step what you are going to do. If you want to practice something with children, remember that kids are used to playing games with imaginary props and characters. All you have to do is be clear on who is who and what is what and where is where.
MAKE IT SUCCESSFUL. When you or others take on a role, remember you are just pretending for the purpose of practice. This is not a test for you or anyone else. To ensure success, go step-by-step and get or give coaching so that the people involved are rewarded with
accomplishment each step of the way. People often need to be walked through a practice several times before being able to do it effectively.
GET COACHING AND FEEDBACK. Often very minor things that you might not be aware of can make a huge impact on your effectiveness. One small step that you don't know or forget to do can make a large difference in dealing with anything technological -- like not saving a document regularly when using your computer. With communication skills, ask for feedback and coaching on the most effective choice of words, tone of voice, facial expressions and body language.
WRITE THINGS DOWN. If you have a hard time remembering what to do,write the steps and ideas down as specifically as possible. Writing often helps people to integrate what they want to learn. Try using the written steps to practice the skill. Post reminders to yourself for anything that you want to remember or change.
REMEMBER THAT MISTAKES ARE PART OF LEARNING Look for progress, not perfection. Give yourself and others the time to learn. People are far more likely to accept practicing if they are being encouraged rather than criticized. Be patient with yourself and with anyone that you are trying to teach. If someone feels upset about making a mistake, say something encouraging like, "This is hard to do. That'S why we practice."
WITH CHILDREN, BE AGE APPROPRIATE Error on the side of safety in terms of what you decide to say to children. Remember that even though children who watch TV programs like Bart Simpson might sound quite cynical, they vary widely in their degree of actual sophistication.
BE RESPECTFUL. To make sure that practicing stays emotionally safe, don't allow putdowns or teasing or generalizations that are prejudicial. In setting boundaries, find language that is respectful while being clear and firm.
-- Excerpt from The KIDPOWER Book for Caring Adults Copyright (c) 2007. All rights reserved. Please contact for permission to copy. kidpower.org
I wanted to share an article with some ideas about how to practice with UofMom members. This is an excerpt from The KIDPOWER Book for Caring Adults. We will soon have free audio-podcasts on our website about using People Safety skills in daily life. For these and other educational resources, you might want to sign up for our free monthly e-newsletter at kidpower.org.
Hoping you are all having a safe, happy, healthy summer,
Irene
The Power of Positive Practice
At the heart of the KIDPOWER teaching method is our step-by-step approach to turning problems into positive practices. We do this for both adults and children. We have found that adults are far more able to help children rehearse solutions to potential problems, when as adults, we have learned how to create practices like this for ourselves.
There is a great deal of research that indicates that raising awareness of problems and worrying about them raises anxiety.However, having opportunities for successful practice of skills for
dealing with these problems helps people become more confident, less anxious, and more effective.
Practice can help people with many difficult situations such as:
- conducting a job interview.
- replying in a calm emotionally safe way to a cranky child, when you're tired yourself.
- changing a tire.
- what to do if there is an earthquake or snowstorm.
- learning how to do something new on the computer.
- setting a boundary with a someone who is not being respectful to you.
- being persistent in getting help from someone who is busy and overwhelmed.
- protecting yourself emotionally when someone is being mean.
- leaving a bad situation in a powerful way.
- using self defense skills to stop an attack.
However, HOW you practice is as important as the practice itself. Practicing doing something wrong can make you less effective. Practicing in ways that leave you feeling like a failure can be
destructive to your belief in yourself and can harm your self esteem.
You can set up safe positive practices for yourself and others by remembering a few things:
STAY CALM. No matter how difficult or upsetting the issue is, you and anyone you are trying to help will learn better if you are calm.
OVERCOME RESISTANCE. It is normal for people to avoid practicing how to handle a situation because thinking about it is upsetting, or because they are afraid they will look stupid or because they are busy. Usually avoiding practicing takes much more time than just doing it.
KNOW WHAT YOU WANT TO ACCOMPLISH. Learn about the best ways to handle situations from others through reading, watching videos, asking people who have experience, or taking workshops. Become clear about what you want the outcome to be and what you or others need to beable to do or to say to make it happen.
IF YOU ARE TEACHING SOMEONE ELSE, PRACTICE UNTIL YOU ARE COMPETENT YOURSELF. For
example, if you can't sound clear, respectful, and firm when you set a boundary, it is going to be hard to model this for someone else. One of the great benefits of teaching something to someone is that you are likely to become better at this skill yourself.
BE SPECIFIC. To create a role-play, be specific about who the parties involved are, where you are, what the problem is, and what the technique is. You can practice by yourself out loud in front of a
mirror or with other people. Adjust and adapt for differences in how you can best respond, including the different life situations of the people you might be wanting to communicate with or about.
USE YOUR IMAGINATION. For situations that are not possible to actually practice, you can prepare yourself by visualizing different problems and imagining step by step what you are going to do. If you want to practice something with children, remember that kids are used to playing games with imaginary props and characters. All you have to do is be clear on who is who and what is what and where is where.
MAKE IT SUCCESSFUL. When you or others take on a role, remember you are just pretending for the purpose of practice. This is not a test for you or anyone else. To ensure success, go step-by-step and get or give coaching so that the people involved are rewarded with
accomplishment each step of the way. People often need to be walked through a practice several times before being able to do it effectively.
GET COACHING AND FEEDBACK. Often very minor things that you might not be aware of can make a huge impact on your effectiveness. One small step that you don't know or forget to do can make a large difference in dealing with anything technological -- like not saving a document regularly when using your computer. With communication skills, ask for feedback and coaching on the most effective choice of words, tone of voice, facial expressions and body language.
WRITE THINGS DOWN. If you have a hard time remembering what to do,write the steps and ideas down as specifically as possible. Writing often helps people to integrate what they want to learn. Try using the written steps to practice the skill. Post reminders to yourself for anything that you want to remember or change.
REMEMBER THAT MISTAKES ARE PART OF LEARNING Look for progress, not perfection. Give yourself and others the time to learn. People are far more likely to accept practicing if they are being encouraged rather than criticized. Be patient with yourself and with anyone that you are trying to teach. If someone feels upset about making a mistake, say something encouraging like, "This is hard to do. That'S why we practice."
WITH CHILDREN, BE AGE APPROPRIATE Error on the side of safety in terms of what you decide to say to children. Remember that even though children who watch TV programs like Bart Simpson might sound quite cynical, they vary widely in their degree of actual sophistication.
BE RESPECTFUL. To make sure that practicing stays emotionally safe, don't allow putdowns or teasing or generalizations that are prejudicial. In setting boundaries, find language that is respectful while being clear and firm.
-- Excerpt from The KIDPOWER Book for Caring Adults Copyright (c) 2007. All rights reserved. Please contact for permission to copy. kidpower.org