Freeing Ourselves Hurt Feelings

[KIDPOWER]

Good Morning, UofMom!

I have been thinking about how often hurt feelings from old conflicts and misunderstandings cause pain in our present. We are cruising along and suddenly a memory pops into our brain and we

[KIDPOWER]

Oops - that got posted before I was done!

Let me try again!

I have been thinking about how often hurt feelings from old conflicts and misunderstandings cause pain in our present. We are cruising along and suddenly a memory pops into our brain and we feel all the anger or sadness sometimes even more strongly than we did when the upsetting experience took place. So, even from events long past, often involving people who have long forgotten, our hurt comes back to trouble us again and again and again.

Old hurts can diminish the joy of our present lives - and sometimes even cause us to make choices that are not in our larger self-interest.

The steps towards freedom from old hurts are:
1. Identifying your triggers and the experiences that caused them.
2. Deciding that you don't want to continue to feel anguish from memories of past events.
3. Finding tools to free you from this anguish, such as training yourself to remember and feel peaceful instead being upset. Some people use meditation, prayer and/or specific images, such as giving your pain to the universe to recycle into energy for some good, in a similar way to manure being transformed into flowers and food.
4. When you are stuck, getting help instead of just suffering and struggling on your own. Help might include talking with supportive people who help you to let go of past grievances instead of to hold on or getting therapy from professionals who are not invested in a specific perspective, but only want you to grow towards excellent mental health.

So, do you ever feel haunted by old hurts, injustices, wrongs? What works for you to find freedom?

Thanks,
Irene from KIDPOWER

[charliechan]

I try to journal if I'm feeling conflicted on anything, past or present. It helps me to get my feelings out in a less crowded place than my head. :snicker: I also like to write letters to people I'm due to have important conversations with. I don't usually give them to the person however I have it with me so I can refer to it and make sure I'm telling them all of what's on my mind. :ita:

[3babesandadad]

I work on this daily. I try to just tell myself "this person will not show up and hurt me again" and "even if they DO show up I am in a safe place" And it helps my anxiety a little bit.

[humphrey1899]

What I have learned is,

you may never forget but forgive them



nothing is worse than letting it fester and becoming bitter, not good for you or the family