Adult behaviors....

[Lady LaRue]

Intentional infliction of harm on other adults? Do you think it is really ever possible to eliminate the hurtful, pack-attacks of adults on each other, from society?

For the longest time, I thought that once people grew up, you didn't have to worry about it. Then I became an adult and saw that nothing changed. Mean people were still mean. Nothing seemed to change. It really disappointed me and for many, many years I just chose not to have friends and remain secluded and devoted my life to my family without having an outlet.

When I started opening up and making friends again, I began to think that maybe people really did lose their mean-ness as they aged. But some times I feel like I'm just foolish and opening my heart up for pain again, by leaving myself too open. I have a couple of friends who have experienced similar pain and they all say the same thing "maybe I'll go back to my little hole"....it's really sad.

How can you ever really be sure about a person that you have become close to? Why do adults do things to hurt each other?

I'm bummed. I'm stressed. Is this why so many of us stay on internet boards? (we can hide behind out computers) :shrug:

Late night ramblings......:notallthere:

[Happybutt]

I thought it was just me and most of the people I know are still in highschool:lol:

I try really hard not to be mean to others and to not act like I am in highschool. I am not perfect but I think I am a good and loyal friend.

I used to be the same way and tried to make friends bc I thought I should have them for some reason. Then I learned a hard lesson and found out I don't really need to have friends just because. I have one true friend. We have had issues but we have both acted like adults, apologized, learned from it and moved on. A lot of people refuse to do that.

I think it is better to have one or two true friends and some aquaintances.

But then again maybe I have just been hurt to much also:lol:

[leo_jess]

Being hurt is like a rite of passage. You develop and your mental shape is formed through experiences and influences. If everyone was nice to everyone all the time, that survivalist mentality really wouldn't exist. Think about it. Almost all things that drive us to become better are based on a negative experience. You were poor growing up. Your parents fought in front of you therefore you refuse to fight in front of your kids. And so on. People being nasty helps us almost in more ways than it hurts us. It just depends on you, if you want to be a victim or not.

I can relate. I have trust issues with people and am ALWAYS suspicious of their motives until I get to know them better. Yikes! Man, people can be so cruel, it is so hard to trust and become vulnerable. I mean, you already know who to avoid. You shouldn't have to worry about avoiding "friends" or worry about being vulnerable to them. I have learned though to never give someone the power to break me. Hurt me, yeah, but not break me. I do not tell or talk about things that will crush me if later used against me unless it is someone I can TRULY trust.

As for why peeps are like that? Who knows. It's sadistic. We like to watch people who are desperate and cry. Maybe the fact that THEY are crying and we are not makes us feel better? By "us" I mean big ol' meanies who hurt people on a regular basis. Hurt others before they can hurt me.

[Magnolia Mama]

I think we all meet people like that and then go "OMG what the hell was I thinking?" I went through a similar thing like that when I moved to Missouri. This was the first time since I've become an adult that this has happened to me and it was new territory. I thought all the high school bull had passed as well. As a result, only two of us speak now and really I'm ok with that. I'd rather have one good friend like that than a pack of two-faced people I hang around with. It does make you lose faith in people and wonder why you even try. I guess the way I look at it is, if I don't give people a chance, how do I ever expect to be given a chance. Its hard, but sometimes worth it. These are lessons along the road of life.

[Dream]

. I guess the way I look at it is, if I don't give people a chance, how do I ever expect to be given a chance. Its hard, but sometimes worth it. These are lessons along the road of life.


I love this. It is so true, you have to give people a chance. If you don't you will never know what wonderful things you might be missing.